STOP THE INSANITY!
I've said this before. I've gotten boring and senile in my old age (actually, me being senile would be one of those things you pay a dollar at the State Fare to see.
I am going to write funny things again. Things that make me laugh, I'm becoming too serious with this mission business and becoming an adult and all.
You know what bugs me?
Church choristers who get WAY into their calling.
Now, I think leading music can be fun. Leading flamboyantly can be fun.
But come on people.
You know who I'm talking about. The ones with the batons. Not that there is anything wrong with a baton at all. Go ahead and work that baton, conductor! It's when you're cueing instrumental and vocal sections that don't exist.
Just makes it look like you're trying to get the swish and flick motion down so the bishop can levitate properly.
Really, is that necessary? Of course not, but I would most definitely cue...whatever I wanted if I was a conductor.
You know who else is odd? Christian Fundumentalists.
I was browsing a forum for Christian Fundumentalists (I swear there was a reason)
Found these little gems.
Never even consider sending your children to private Christian schools, much less the public automaton factory. Whether a classroom is based completely on Christian education or secular is not the issue (although, we would by far prefer the Christian). God didn't make teenage boys and girls to sit together in a classroom every day using their brain while real life passes them by.
(Not sure what that means actually...)
Leviathon is a spirit I have battled as well. It was a hard battle but was won. It was about four months or more ago. My wife and I were in McDonalds and were having a conversation with an angel and Leviathon had come up. I told the angel that i wanted to fight this demon and he said I could. On the way back to the hotel I asked the angel if he could bring the demon to a predestinated place and he said yes. I figured that since Leviathon was from the depths of the sea he would be used to the cold water so I filled the tub up with scalding hot water and blessed the water. The angels (there were two now) brought Leviathon bound to the tub and fought with me. We all pulled our swords from our hips and began running this demon through with all my strength and everything I had. I would say it took atleast half an hour or more. We were all spent but the battle was won.
(That is THE BEST story I have ever heard. He must be all the rage at dinner parties. Right up there with "I walked on the moon" If you didn't have a reason to carry a sword while you're high before...)
["The Hebrews crossed the 'sea of reeds'. Most Jews agree on this. After all, the first 5 books are theirs."]
The first five books are theirs? Um, no. Moses was a Christian. Sorry.
(I may not be a biblical scholar, but I'm pretty sure Moses came BEFORE Christ...The whole children of Israel thing and all...)
I wouldn't mind going back to the 1700s. I've about decided that all areas of science are evil, including technological sciences. Technology is ruining this country.
(Keep in mind that this is an online forum...)
[Question about the logic in light being created on the first day, but the sun being created on the fourth.]
The sun isn't the only source of light you know? Think of a cloudly day, there's light coming from somewhere.
(You've got to be kidding me! I love people with no common sense.)
I wear my ignorance like a badge!
It's our faith they need to see --- not our knowledge
(Ah man, I can't even make fun of this one!)
Physicists have been theorizing for decades about the 'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear force,' and so-called 'force of gravity'. And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus...
(This is actually a pretty cool statement...but...yeah...it crossed a line.)
In an unrelated note. I always carry a few nuts and bolts at amusement parks. after we get locked in the ride and start to move, I hold up a few of them and say to the person next to me look what just fell out of this thing. It is a great witnessing tool. Everytime I did that the person next to me started praying.
(Now that...that's funny)
I was taking a walk with my next door neighbor this morning, passing through the adjacent neighborhood as we always do during our walks. My neighbor and I were having "lady talk", discussing current events, and, walking our dogs in addition. Suddenly, as I stopped to untwist the leash that had gotten caught under my dog's leg, I began to peer around a noticed a rather peculiar sight.....THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD WAS EMPTY!!!!!! And while I turned out to be incorrect, I thought for quite sometime that the rapture could have occurred without us even knowing it!!!! Alas
, it was simply a false alarm, as I once again got excited over nothing, though it made me realize just how excited I am to experience it!!!! (I think that often when no one else is around. Then I think "crud, what did I do to get left out?)
Science is good for some things but I don't see much applicability when I'm visiting a hospital room of a terminally ill person.
(This is just good quality entertainment reading these, man)
Any person who obeys his parents cannot ask them any questions. Who are you to ask your father any questions when he instructs you to do anything? If you should do that, then of course, you must die. Who are you to murmur against your father for giving you instructions? Who are you to be annoyed against your father for advising you? If you should ask any questions, you are inviting death.
(Crap...apparently we must all die)
When we get to Heaven, you'll easily find me. I'll be the tall blonde hanging on to Jesus' feet and not letting go!! He'll be shaking me off his legs like a dog!!
(uhhhhhhhh)
SOME women NEED a good stinging slap across the face to remind them that they have a certain place in the order of things that they ought to be mindful of and not try to step out of it.
(Yeah, tell me how that one works out for ya, buddy)
Probably my favorite so far
So, I was wondering if buying used books online, like thru the used venders on Amazon.com, was bad, as in can books be cursed? I noticed alot of the vendors from Oregon or NY, and I know occult is big in lots of those areas. I checked other books some of the vendors had and they had many demon, occult, type of books sometimes. I take Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, so I know I have nothing to fear... but if I give some books (like Catholicism for Dummies) as a gift to someone who is not a believer yet, do they get harmed?
Waddup ya'll?
I'm just not feelin it tonight...blogging anything I mean...
I keep trying, but nothing has happened that I just think "I NEED to blog that)
Probably a good thing, means I'm spending more time in real life doing exciting things.
I need to smile more.
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
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